Keep dreaming, it's the only way to go

Hi, we're back here after ONE year! Health Do 20-30s handstands every day. I did not do this yikes! Thought yoga was enough but once a week is far from enough so I have to make myself do this! I did do pull-ups towards the end of the year though. Stretch at least 5min every day. I did this sometimes, but not every day...Too much phone! Sleep at 10 - 11pm. Managed to do this for most of the year, but sometimes the phone gets in the way!! Tsk! Go for yoga at least once a week when mil is here. Most successful goal perhaps haha! Nature walks at least once a month. Yeah we went to Botanic Gardens several times and also walked around the neighbourhood pretty frequently. Hope to do this more often though. Baby Teach him to ride the bike. 👍 (trike) Get him off diapers.👍 Wean him off breast milk.👍 Read a book to him every week. Failed, but thankfully my MIL actually taught him to write letters 💓 Planned Breaks Take leave from 25th Dec - 31st Dec. (Felt really good in 2023, but also dep...

I feel my life's like an arranged marriage...In a good way though. I married a native Indian, and it was a so-called "love marriage". But everything else in my life seems so "arranged". By that I mean every decision made seemed to be based on first impressions instead of long-term planning. I chose my uni course based on a simple attraction to natural health. I didn't consider the workload, the ulu-ness of NTU, the prospects of becoming a TCM physician, or other job prospects for that matter. There weren't many choices of uni anyway. It was either NUS or NTU, or an overseas uni. I knew if I were to go overseas, I would be doing veterinary medicine. But since the overseas universities didn't want me, I narrowed down my choices to the local Us. I don't even remember if I had any 2nd or 3rd choices. I know I submitted an NUS USP application, but they gave me a conditional offer. The TCM course in NTU gave me an unconditional offer, so I took it up. ...

Love is a paradox,  for they call you an idiot.  For they say you are lazy.  For they leave you all alone at night.  For they fail to listen.  For they don't believe when you say it hurts.  For you risk your life.  For you clean up their mess.  For they hinder your freedom.  For they lose their patience and keys and cards.  For they think they deserve everything you've ever given.  For the relationship I have with my cat is not love, it's just happiness. One sided happiness, as long as I feed them and stroke them. 

 I just finished teaching my first Chinese module, the module which I got kicked out of the first time round after 4 lessons. So having unlocked an accomplishment, naturally I've been feeling reflective these few days. Also because a load has been lifted off my shoulders for the time being, so I've got a little more time to spend writing.  I have been thinking about life and my purpose recently. I don't think I ever aspired to be a teacher. There are times when I come back from work feeling sad because I know I didn't teach well. I don't speak like a leader. My voice is too low and not animated enough. But this class made me feel really appreciated. But I always wonder if this appreciation is what I want in life?  I love performing, yet I'm not flamboyant or attention-loving like the personalities online or on TV. I always wonder why I yearn to show off what I can do, yet don't really embrace praises. (Lol this makes me sound so arrogant. I meant, in the pas...

I used to work at a specialist clinic as a clinic assistant. Boss is great. Colleagues are great. It's a really awesome, almost stress free environment to work at. I have nothing personal against them, but I always wonder, because of my knowledge in TCM, diet and natural health, how do doctors actually overcome their conscience when they prescribe drugs such as steroids. You may be thinking that I don't make any sense at all. You may be thinking, being a doctor is one of the best professions in the world! They save people and earn good bucks at the same time!  There has been so much evidence of how diet can be used to cure diseases ranging from autoimmune (eg. eczema, psoriasis, lupus etc) to lifestyle diseases such as diabetes and high cholesterol, and yet when patients ask the doctor if there is anything that they should avoid, and the doctor says nope. It's like the very thing that's causing harm to the body is already known, and yet because there are steroids (and o...

1. Eat home-cooked meals as much as I can. Eating out/ ordering delivery is the norm in Singapore.  But I'm not your typical Singaporean Wahahahaha. 2. Do not be lazy. Take public transport or carpool if possible. Don't hire a maid. Clean my own house. I love how these  rich people  take public transport. Do they bring along body guards? 3. Do not live in excess. Donate money to charities and causes I believe in.  With great wealth comes great responsibility. Read what  Jeff Bezos , the richest man in the world does for charity. I'm not sure if he is just doing this because of public pressure though. It just sounds like he doesn't really have a cause that he truly believes in. As much as people think they deserve to live in excess due to their hard work, I think it's unnecessary and I hope I never get myself in the plight where I have a huge mansion and a swimming pool on the balcony. I just want to have the ability to earn the money and redistribute ...

You know how when we surf the net we're always jumping from one topic to the other? Like one moment you're nosing about Jade Rasif's 7 months pregnant news and "rejected marriage proposal but kept the ring" instastory and then the next you're watching Asian Boss interviewing North Korean defectors. Confessions of what I've been doing on the net haha. But anyway I got really affected when I watched Asian Boss (I'll put the links below) so I decided to blog about it. So as most people know, North Korea is a communist country. And there are definitely many negative connotations to that. It's run by a dictatorship, and your communications are tapped into. Big Brother is always watching your every move. One wrong move and you're executed. Or maybe your family is executed as well. No freedom. Poverty. Starvation. Sounds like a really grim and sad place. When I think of North Korea, I imagine the place to be grey. Like literally I think of run-dow...

Was just thinking abt ppl's relationship w make-up this mrng: As much as we hate to admit, we r all vain. But what makes it toxic isn't because we are covering up our flaws. But because we can't accept our flaws that's why we cover them up. It's always about the why. Well u could say it's like therapy. But is it really therapy when ppl r just following the norm and not working on themselves? Are u guys like Jenna Marbles who can go on camera regardless of whether she wears make up? Even for Jenna Marbles, u could tell she used to be insecure about herself at the start of her youtube career, always talking down at herself and saying that she's ugly. But nowadays she's focusing more on life and other priorities. Another few reasons there is toxicity: 1. Ppl look down on those who don't wear make-up- it's such a norm in some social circles that they call it laziness. Are these people really lazy or do they just have other priorities? I'm not ...

Have u ever felt despair? When u feel as if u are being locked within a room away from all forms of human existence, yet u are still in contact with humans. Just that, no one understands you, or wants to understand you. Maybe that is why I crave for discussions with open minded people. But I realised this morning, after a good night's sleep that was forced into due to overflowing tears and a headache that extended to my eyes (or did it happen the other way round), that teaching in an institution isn't about having open minded discussions. It's about passing down information, as complete as possible. I am not particularly good with that. Students that I have met, in general, prefer these ways of teaching. They not necessarily like it, but it saves them the trouble and time of reading the information on their own. It is not inspiring, but it is the most straightforward way of knowing what to study -for the exams. I do see the benefits of such a teaching style, but it...

In general: 1. Keep calm, let it tide over. 2. Acting stupid sometimes is beneficial. 3. Patience is key. 4. Just don't flare up. Friends: 1. Don't expect. 2. Don't blame. 3. Don't depend. 4. Love unconditionally. Dance: 1. Patience. 2. Love. 3. Be inspired. Good things come to those who wait. Bad luck comes in batches. Be positive. TTFN

What is perfection anyway? Is there actually a state of perfection? So many things are subjective. Are we supposed to do it our own way, or do it exactly the way the teacher does it? Seems like there's always a "better". Yet there also seems to be a "benchmark"... And then there seems to be a kind of framework, or something like "rules". Something like, there are things you just have to get right, yet some other things you don't have to get right. To me it's about interpretation though...In his head it was like that. Yet in my head it is totally different. (Yes it still is. I sort of feel cheated. Maybe that was one of the reasons I got upset.) But when I watched it, it was from a different perspective as well. I had an eagle's view. Then again, it looks completely different watching yourself on film and watching yourself in the mirror. The world is confusing... Perspectives, interpretation... Feeling really frustrated right now. TT...

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I'm scared of myself sometimes. I'm not suicidal. But why do my thoughts so many a time wander so precariously over the railings (literally)? Had our first rehearsal today. Why am I so scared to ask. I feel so inadequate. Just feel like giving up. But obviously I cannot. Dance is like the guy I will never get together with. Rejected. Can't bend low enough, back too arched. Can't even get the feel right. So hard. I think the worst thing is that I am too scared. Too scared to do smth I don't know, too scared to ask, too scared of getting judged. I wish I could just not think for one day. That would probably give me courage. "So close yet so far" makes it all the more depressing. Why are you never here? Must I argue with you so that you will be? I really hate it. I hate how I overthink. I hate how you care yet don't care. It's just me. I need to suck it up. TTFN.

I just can't stop ): Please stop I beg you. TTFN.

Gosh. I just had to clip this out. Like, never ever. Save yourself. Do other things. Live your own life. Thank you Thought Catalog. Alright I need to sleep now or I will die in dance class tmr. (Today was awesome tho. Shopping with the BIMZ- tho I didn't buy anything- and watching As it Fades . The $21 was worth it.) Meow :D Not all of us are here tho! ): Can't w8 for monday! OK REALLY GONNA END HERE HAHA. ~TTFN~

Isn't love such a funny thing? It doesn't matter how smart how mean how tall how irritating how strange that person can be, you still love that person for no reason whatsoever. It's not that you love their every flaw, but it's that their flaws are part of them and you love them. Family, friends, soul mates etc. It applies to all. You can connect on a special level with them, a feeling you just don't know how to explain. But with them you just feel you are yourself, you just feel fortunate to have them in your life.

Been feeling so competitive lately n I really hate it...Took me awhile to get over it n now I'm having more insecurities about myself n my abilities...Somehow I have to constantly tell myself to just try my best instead of worrying so much...Come on Eleanor be strong and ignore everything around. And it's just so hard to bring myself to trust again after giving so much and then falling flat... Should I give my all or not? Is it worth it? I just don't noe how many more times my heart can take this... Why am I always so emo...-.-

I just realised how long I take to open up to people. For a while I always thought once I started talking to someone, I opened up. Because I always laugh (uncontrollably) at what they say or do. I really thought that meant I felt comfortable with them. But recently I've discovered laughing didn't mean anything. One, because I do that quite frequently, and two, because there are so many secrets that I don't share, even with my closest friends. Well, it could be a measure of how frequently I myself change- as in how I see a friend in being able to understand, keep a secret, etc, so that I feel safe enough to share a part of my vulnerability. At the moment I believe it is. That's why I see myself as an anti-social being. I do talk to people and care about my friends. BUT I don't hang out with them that much. I don't hug them that much. I don't console them as much as I should when they're not feeling fine. (maybe through sms/ social sites tho since I feel...

I'm nearing the end of my post-As holidays so maybe that's why I've been thinking about how I should spend the last 1 mth of it. You know, like last time when we were still in sch, the last week/day was always abt rushing to finish homework (for those who cared lol). Now I have a MONTH instead of a week! Anw! I don't think I've "wasted" this long holiday entirely, but a lot of the time I've been on the Internet doin stuff that distracted me from the original things that I planned to do. Like, my room is still sort of a mess:/ (But I did clean up a little!) So I've been thinking a little about my life and how I should use my time here on Earth. (Wow that escalated quickly- from spending my last mth of hols to my life!!) I know I don't wanna just be a nobody. I wanna live my life with meaning and when I really do leave this place, I won't be forgotten. Or maybe that at least my work here has had some impact. So here goes my life priorities ...

Haha I'm not asking for an answer. I'm just wondering if there's anyone who has no secrets. Secrets that you keep only to yourself. Secrets that aren't shared between u and ur best friend. I feel like I have to keep secrets because no one else would understand. But there's this urge to share, to get it out of my system. Yet I can't. It's not due to a lack of best friends but sometimes u can't find someone else who thinks the same way as you do. Best friends can be very different u noe... Just felt like writing this cuz quite a few secrets have accumulated n I need to write something so that I can feel as if I've let go of some of the tension that they have caused. SIGH! Anw I've got ballet tmr and that'll make me feel a lot better^^ TTFN!