That lonely feeling
I just realised how long I take to open up to people. For a while I always thought once I started talking to someone, I opened up. Because I always laugh (uncontrollably) at what they say or do. I really thought that meant I felt comfortable with them. But recently I've discovered laughing didn't mean anything. One, because I do that quite frequently, and two, because there are so many secrets that I don't share, even with my closest friends. Well, it could be a measure of how frequently I myself change- as in how I see a friend in being able to understand, keep a secret, etc, so that I feel safe enough to share a part of my vulnerability. At the moment I believe it is. That's why I see myself as an anti-social being. I do talk to people and care about my friends. BUT I don't hang out with them that much. I don't hug them that much. I don't console them as much as I should when they're not feeling fine. (maybe through sms/ social sites tho since I feel...